it's almost the end of 2014.

iseng, buka-buka blog. looking at the posts i published long time ago, nggak kerasa udah sma aja. udah sma, udah bukan anak smp lagi, bukan bocah lagi. well, still a bocah compared to my relatives and internet-friends and some other acquaintances that are older than me. lucu aja sih ngeliat how immature i used to be. although i still am. but as the year passes,  i learnt how to be mature. how to be mature in every situation. udah nggak boleh nanggepin semua hal dengan ngerengek.

"adek kan udah besar, harus belajar dong."

nggak kerasa habis ini 2015. time flies so fast. padahal baru 4 tahun lalu pindah ke Malang. or was it 5? 

"gimana? di Malang enak nggak? enakan disana atau disini?" pertanyaan yang udah nggak pernah didengar lagi. sedih. it's funny how 10 years old elementary school-er calls each other as bestfriends padahal kalau udah pisah ya pastinya lupa sama lain. (or emang cuman menurutku aja ya)

"nggak usah beratin temen yang disana, yang kamu panggil dengan kata 'sahabat'. mereka juga pasti lupa."

i should've believed that sentence. i was so stupid dan labil buat nanggepin yang kayak begituan. regretting how i raised my voice at my parents because they said those thing to me even though i know now that what they said was true. i should've known.

then again, people come and go. we should learn how to let it go or we'll hurt ourselves with our ego.

but god damn it, i'm only 16. how do you let something go and smile at it?